h0odrich:

It’s not called cheating its called I need to pass this fuckin class

collectyourhearts:

the difference between pizza and your opinion is that i asked for pizza

(Source: anotherbadpoem)

3ridan:

the scariest thing about teenage girls is all they have to do is laugh near you and they instantly make you feel like total shit

amoying:

making good posts during low traffic hours is like throwing a ball really hard but it only travels 3 ft away from you

knightscrest:

two biologists are wandering around in the desert. one of them sees a small cat. “my boy, i do say! is that a meerkat?” 

“you are mistaken—it is a mere cat”

veryghostlythoughts:

Today while at work a guy came in and brought 10 dozen eggs. After I gave him his change and the last bag of eggs he looked at me with the most serious expression ever and said “eggcellent” before walking away and I swear in that moment I had never been happier to sell a man eggs

trilled:

I am never liking anyone ever again ever this is retarded

(Source: trilled)

the-listening:

i cuss so much that sometimes i forget its actually bad and not everyone is comfortable with it

rupindre:

foreveralone-lyguy:

rupindre:

My dad has 84 pairs of socks

why did you count the amount of pairs of socks that your dad has

I didn’t count, he did, then he came downstairs and announced it to the entire family

(Source: 000rednipur00)

rneerkat:

thisisnotlogansblog:

rneerkat:

rneerkat:

is there a month between april and june? 

may be

you can’t answer your own jokes

“why did the chicken cross the road?” “why” “sorry cant answer my own jokes ur gonna have to find the solution yourself”

dianagorawrr:

corncop:

why cant students grade teachers on their shitty teaching ability

lct250-blk:

I just hate it when I see your name.

(Source: 110494)